CRPS Diagnosis and Acceptance

LWhen first getting diagnosed with CRPS many thoughts may go through your mind. Primarily for me this was 'what does that mean?'. Then thoughts may turn to the future and if this will ever get better or go away. I know when I was first diagnosed, I was told 'don't worry we can sort it out' but 3 years on I now know that that's pretty much a lie. CRPS is very hard to treat effectively, but if you are diagnosed in the first 3 months there is a higher chance of remission. But there are no guarantees. When you first get a diagnosis, you often wonder what it means fro your future and the truth is CRPS affects everybody differently and so no body can really tell you.

Acceptance is a massive part after you are told you have CRPS, it is a process that takes time. I don't think I have fully accepted what has happened yet but I think I am a lot closer than I was earlier this year. There are 5 stages to acceptance:

1. Denial - the first stage is denial. This means that you are denying that your life has changed/been affected but CRPS. A common thought I had was 'I can still carry on despite my condition'. There is no set amount of time that you could be in denial, it varies from person to person. As long as you allow yourself to have thoughts and feelings you will always deny your condition. 

2. Anger - the second stage is anger. You will feel angry, maybe towards yourself, family, friends or maybe the doctor who diagnosed you. You may try and find someone to blame or wonder why this has happened to you. This stage is very common and a normal part of acceptance but it is also important not to stay in this stage for too long because this can cause stress, depression, bitterness or isolation. You may find that you snap mat people when you don't mean it and when you normally wouldn't. I found this stage hard because I would get anger with my family and lose my temper when I never used to be like that before. 

3. Bargaining - the third stage is bargaining. This is where you may make a deal or trade with your elf or 'God' that if you do something good the your CRPS will go into remission or your pain reduced. This is you trying to find a way back to your old life before you were diagnosed with CRPS. None of these thoughts will ever materialise as there is currently no cure for CRPS.

4. Depression - the fourth stage is depression. At this point in the acceptance process you have realised your CRPS will not go away. You have chronic pain/ CRPS for the rest of your life, during this time symptoms may vary greatly but it will always be there. People tend to stay in this stage the longest because it is the most difficult to get through. You may experience feelings of sadness, loss, desperation, anxiety, isolation or vulnerability. People in this stage tend to withdraw as they see no point in doing things, living, seeing or talking to friends, family or loved ones. No joy or love of life can be found for people going through this stage and no way out can be found, it will seem to last forever but you will get through it. Depression totally consumes you and your life, it may seem like you can talk to no one but if you slip deeper and deeper into depression or experience suicidal thoughts or intentions that you seek medical attention right away. It is not uncommon for people with CRPS to experience these feelings in fact many sufferers do. When you are diagnosed with CRPS and you enter this depression stage you are often grieving for the loss of your 'old life' and the loss of all the things you used to enjoy. You may feel tearful and cry and sometimes not even know why, I know I did but this is all part of the acceptance process. You have to appreciate that you are bound to have bad days as well as good ones because it is not easy. To get through this process it takes a bit of time and patience for you. At around this time it helps to talk to other CRPS sufferers on Facebook groups. I found the 'CRPS UK- living with pain' group, that is run by CRPS UK for sufferers, a life saver, it was so brilliant to talk to so many amazing people with experience and it is a brilliant to post your problems and worries privately and get advice from other people. 

5. Acceptance! - the final stage of the process is acceptance. It is at this point that you begin to realise that you have a limit to what you are able to do now in your 'new life'. The aim of this is to find acceptance of your CRPS. You have now found that you have accepted your CRPS into your life and it is a part of you that will remain th you for the rest of your life. It does not mean your life is over and that you have to give everything upon give up looking for different treatments or a cure because of the chronic pain but you have realised the reality of it. Your new life, since your CRPS, will be different and the way you do things will be different to how you used to but this is ok, and all part of the process. You will begin to heal emotionally an mentally once you understood that that this is your new path yah at you will follow. By incorporating your CRPS into the things that you do will help you heal and start to take control of your life instead or your condition continuing to take it over. 

I found acceptance an incredibly hard process and it took me to some very dark days, but I got through it. I would say now, 3 years since my CRPS was trigger, I am close to accepting what has happening to me and how it is likely to affect me in the future. I'm not there yet, I still have some things to accept but I will get there, and so will you.

Never give up on hope!!!!!!