The Troubles of Being Young and Disabled

I've been trying to think what I should write about next, that's when Dan had a good idea. What it is like to be young and have a disability. Since my CRPS got worse and I started to develop ulcers, my mobility has also got worse, meaning I am unable to put pressure through my right leg which has been the case for the last 6 months. At first it was hard to try and adapt, and it still is but I feel like I'm getting there, my balance is incredible now. I consider myself lucky, I had saved some money and I managed to buy an automatic car which my parents paid to have adapted for me. I don't know where I would be without my car (Ralph) now, after 3 months of not being able to drive my old car, it gave me some freedom back. All of my friends and family were really supportive in me trying to live with my disability and accepting my limitations, however, society can be very cruel to young disabled people. Don't get me wrong some of the general public are very nice but others can be very rude and spiteful for no obvious reason. So I thought I'd share some of my mine and Dan's experiences to make you realise you are not alone:

1. Disabled bays: 

There's a clue I the name really they are for disabled people who hold a blue badge irrespective of their age. I know for sure I have had some terrible experiences of disabled bays within the last 6 months so I'm sure many other people have as well.

I was going to the supermarket one day and so I went to park in the disabled bays because I have a blue badge. Before I even started to get out of my car an old man was stood there shaking his fist at me. Normally I use my chair when I go into the supermarket but this time I only needed a couple of things so I used my crutches. I started to get out of the car and the man starts shouting about 'how I should move my car because these spaces are only for disabled people.' I ignored him at the time until he said 'look at you' and that I was faking my disability, I turned round and said 'so then why are you parked here, you are old not disabled.' After that I heard him mumbling but I ignored it and just went to get my shopping. I was innocent, all I wanted to do was go to the supermarket. Later on when I thought about it, it made me really frustrated because I just wanted to mind my own business.

When I've parked in disabled bays and got out, I have been 'reminded' several times that I'm parked there. Dan has even had people knock on the window saying 'excuse me this is a disabled space'.  This is pretty common for CRPS sufferers, as primarily it is an invisible disability however right now mine is pretty visible, in fact it's bright pink and people still feel the need to intervene. 

2. 'How can you drive that car?' 

This is a question I hear far too much of. My car is adapted with a left foot accelerator so I can drive it with my left foot, which was hard to adapt to at first but now I couldn't imagine it any other way. Dan's car is adapted with hand controls, so he can accelerate and brake using his hands. It's pretty amazing the kinds of adaptations that you can have put in your car, yet unless it affects you and you are able bodied you've probably never thought about it. 

Not that long ago, I went to put petrol in my car and then went into the kiosk to pay. My leg was in plaster and I was on my crutches and the woman behind the till started asking questions. 'Is that your car' 'are you the driver' 'you're not allowed to drive like that'. I said yes and it is adapted so I can drive it with my left leg. 'Surely that's not legal'. Actually it is perfectly legal. The woman even threatened to report me to the DVLA, if she saw me again. It's so frustrating and tiring having to explain yourself everywhere you go when you just want to get on with your day. 

But just because you have disability doesn't mean you can't drive, there are so many adaptions you can get nearly anyone driving. 

3. Wheelchairs

When Dan and I go out it always takes us a while to get our chairs out the car and to put them back in. I find it frustrating that it takes so long but then we just have to be patient and so do other people. We've had people just staring at us putting our stuff in the car, for no reason just because they are nosey.

The most frustrating thing for us is when we go out in our racing chairs and parents with young children say 'look at that bike' and the little kids correct them saying its a wheelchair. It's like they are afraid to tell them it is a chair. Personally, I'd rather them say it's a wheelchair than send mixed messages to children because there is a difference and being honest doesn't offend us, we are well aware they are wheelchairs and not bikes. 

When the weather in nice Dan and I go training around the quay, we have so many people of all ages just sit and stare at us, we are trying to better ourselves and we get people pointing and staring. I think this is because para sports are massively under-advertised and its probably the first time many people have seen racing chairs or hand bikes but even so it makes me feel like I'm the odd one out when really I'm not everyone is different. 

Over the last 6 months I have had so many negative experiences like these by members of the public. We don't want wrapping in bubble wrap either, we just want to be able to get on with our own lives like any other person would. Obviously these are just the bad experiences, I have had positive experiences as well when people offer to help if they see I am struggling. I wanted to share these stories so young disabled people don't feel isolated and alone like it is just them, it isn't, lots of people have these kind of problems.

Stay strong! :)